ＦＡＳＴＥＳＴ　ＴＲＡＶＥＬＥＲ

NEKOTAMMA

Episode 1 Departure

　I am a ninja cat. I am not just a ninja cat. I am a ninja cat who can read people's minds. I am also a ninja cat who has the ability to freely travel through history, from the present to the past, and I am an unusual esper cat.
My name is Sanzo. I am a ninja cat so I am not a member of any organization and lives comfortably every day. I'm always have a cat feather toy in my mouth. Most of the time, people play with it. This is to make them let their guard down. I am a ninja.
　Now, by chance, I have accepted the job of a detective who travels through time and space to find out the truth about historical events and send articles.The reason for this was that I thought it would be cool to look like Sherlock Holmes traveling through history, but it was very smart of them to choose me, the cat, instead of a human esper.
　There are many different types of human ninja, such as Iga, Koga, Fuuma, etc., each of which have their own psychics. It is similar to how the FBI and CIA, which often appear in movies and TV programs, have psychic agents. But they are only human. All humans have flaws.
　One of the faults of human beings is that we tend to get angry. This is common not only among ninjas, but also among those who rule, as well as among ordinary people.
For example, in Japan's past history, samurai who did not know bushido were quick to anger and quick to draw their swords. Japanese swords are designed in such a way that when the sword is pulled out of its scabbard, a small metallic sound can be heard, and this metallic sound is called the sound of "koikuchi wo kiru"by the samurai. In other words, the "koikuchi sound" is the same in meaning as the sound made at the moment before the bullet is fired, when the firing hammer is raised and secured. It is the sound that indicates that tension has reached its limit.
　By the way, when I hear this sound, I get nervous and my farts.
　On a personal note, when I get nervous and fart, at that moment I am free to time warp. Weaknesses become weapons.
　Now, mankind is not all bad. Humans have left behind many good words of wisdom and sayings. Among them, my favorite is "Okotcha ya~yo.
　The cute and comical expression of the words, uttered with charm and sadness in the hope of "appeasing the other party's anger," still leaves a lasting impression on my mind.
I think it is an excellent word, very humorous and tasteful, considering the history of mankind.
We work and live every day, but some people may go home carrying in their hearts the various feelings that they experienced that day that cannot be put into words.
However, by the time the whole family goes home, the lights that make up the city lights come on one by one. There was a time when children imitated the tone of voice when this gag was played from the TV, and men, women and the elderly all laughed together in front of the TV.
　By the way, my favorite person is Issai Sato, who is known for his words beginning with "Shunpuu," which means "Spring Breeze.
　As I travel through history, I will try to wrap as many human deeds as possible in shunpuu, and I will try to treat historical events in the same way.
　No celebratory gun, but at the starting line, nervous, Cat fart pooh!
　Departure!


　　Episode 2 World tour

I am, as requested, traveling through history.
And this mission is a world tour.
By the way, I am the fastest ninja in the world.
Why?
Because I have twice as many legs as a human being.
By the way, I am often compared with tortoises, but tortoises nowadays walk on two legs, right?
Therefore, I am the fastest.

In someone's mind, I heard the sound of a sword being drawn.
I flew a white message pigeon that could come and go through the hole created by the time warp to report the progress to my client.


As I walked along the road, I reached Rome.
A man who said, "My word is law" was about to enter the theater, so I went in with him. A man named Brutus stares quietly at this man of the greatest political power. The hallways of the theater were filled with tension.
Koikuchi's sound was heard.
In the solemn cloister,cat fart pooh!

Warp.
The Chinese emperor likes the Japanese messenger and says he will not return him to his country.
Koikuchi's sound was heard.
Cat fart pooh!

Warp.
Hmm, I'm lost.
It says "Canossa.
A king is kneeling to a monk.
Koikuchi's sound was heard.
Cat fart pooh!

Warp.
A 19-year-old woman led everyone to victory.
But after being used a lot, she was burned at the stake in the end.
By whom?
Koikuchi's sound was heard.
Cat fart pooh!

Warp.
It was like arriving in some modern country.
On a street corner, an adult was talking about how the economy was booming after a conflict in another country.
From the bars and restaurants, I could hear people laughing and saying that they wished there were more conflicts somewhere else and that the economy would continue to boom.
When the laughing adults returned home, they handed boxes of presents to their children.
Did those children notice?
That inside those presents was the weight of a child's life in a war zone.
Cat fart pooh!

Warp.
"I have a dream," Martin Luther King tells everyone.
What would the problem of racism be without this man?
He has, no doubt, greatly broken down the walls of discrimination that were built between people.
The great man was assassinated a few years after giving a speech against the Vietnam War.
Koikuchi's sound was heard.
Cat fart pooh!

Warp.
President Trump was building a wall on the border.
The virus that is now prevalent, he calls it the China virus.
Now, there is a video on TV showing an Asian citizen being beaten by a black man.
I wonder what kind of thoughts Martin Luther King was watching from the sky.
Koikuchi's sound was heard.
Cat fart pooh!

I warped and came back.
The arrival point is like a child's room somewhere in the world.
One child is looking at an illustrated book full of flags of the world.
I just heard the news on the radio.
This world back from the past.
Germany has sent its latest tanks to Ukraine.
Putin is flicking strategic nuclear weapons.
In my mind, Koikuchi's sound was heard.
But I didn't warp.
Why?
Because, faster than my speed as a ninja, the child mumbled, "I'm not sure I can do this.
"Cat Fart Pooh-chin!"


　　Episode 3 The Sanzo report

I came back safely today, so I will report it here.
　 So where do we start? Yes, my favorite quote is "Okotcha-ya-yo", which was handed down by a Japanese comedian who died of Corona.
　I thought that "Okotcha-ya-yo" is a very humorous and tasteful word. Because it acknowledges that uncontrollable righteous anger is a natural human emotion, but that it requires some sort of compromise.
　Now, I would like to share with you my impressions of the history of mankind.
　Hostile forces become angry and war breaks out. However, there are those who take advantage of that anger to sell state-of-the-art weapons. If the weapons are not sold, warehousing costs are incurred. They rust from moisture, so if they don't sell, they have to be oiled, and maintenance and labor costs are also high. The warehouses should be emptied as soon as possible because the price goes down as time goes on. Once the warehouses of the U.S. and German national armies are emptied, the manufactured weapons can be moved to the national armies' warehouses before they rust. Furthermore, the cost would be borne by the taxpayers of these countries. The burden of inventory would be eliminated, and even more enormous profits could be made.
　Every European banker knows this. Because if the bankers do not loan money to the military industry, they cannot pay the labor costs of the weapons factories and keep the production lines running. And of course, if the weapons are not sold, the bankers cannot collect their money.
　Who is making money with these bankers?
　They are the corporations seeking data on the human casualties caused by strategic nuclear missiles, the military industry profiting from state-of-the-art tanks and fighter jets, and the huge capitalists who own that military industry and their shareholders.
　They maneuver and instigate to make more money and gain vast amounts of money and power in exchange for the lives of the people in the combat zone and even their children. While praying for the well-being of their own children in churches, they greedily take the lives of children living in conflict areas.
　Unfortunately, that is how the history of the world has been made.
　Conversely, however,if we don't let them instigate us properly, and if we just calmly decide what we should do, we can save as many children's lives as possible that will be lost to war in the future.
It leads to the minimization of the exchange between the price the greedy get and the lives of the inhabitants in wartime.
　From now on, it will be more important for us to have calm judgment and persevering negotiating power to control our rage.
　And peace is not a vague, ambiguous word. Peace is a specific, quantifiable term for how much the banks have reduced the amount of money they lend to the munitions industry.
This figure is the key to the human proposition of how to reduce war from the earth and expand peace, a common understanding that 8 billion modern humans should have.
　The bereaved families will never see the people who lost their lives again.
　If young people and children die without being given time to enjoy their youth, it is the responsibility of modern adults.
　This is my report on my return from history.
Well, it's about time. I think white pigeons are necessary for modern times, so I leave them.
　See you later.

　Cat fart pooh!